


Between the Lines

by Nobodys_Feral_Child



Category: STARSET (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:10:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodys_Feral_Child/pseuds/Nobodys_Feral_Child
Summary: Brock is the only one who hasn't finished reading Dustin's new novel. Maybe all he needs is a little help...ONESHOT





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at band fiction since college in 2004. This was written about three years ago. Much more to come, and hopefully, of better quality!:) A big thank you to Oliver Michael for encouraging me to do this! Xoxo!!!

Sitting cross legged on the floor of the van, the young man sighed loudly and shifted his lanky form so that he was leaned back and mostly out of view from the road. He just needed some time to himself, to regroup and figure out how he was going to get out of this...again. It's not like they'd been pressuring him on purpose, but the thought of having to constantly dodge their playful banter about how lazy he was being, no matter how banal, still stung. Nobody knew, so when he offered little but a canned chuckle and wooden smile, they all figured he was just in a pissy mood and pretty much left him alone. But Adam...  
Dropping his head into his palms he groaned quietly, his head giving a dull throb as he mulled over how he could avoid another scene with his best friend. The image of the earlier debacle dug itself up from his mind and made his eyes sting, but he was helpless to stop it from coming.  
********  
'I told you!', Adam's sharp words had rung dully in Brock's ears, the aggravated grit of his voice grating on his already raw nerves like sandpaper, 'You're the only one who still hasn't read it. It's part of who we are, and we owe it to Dustin to let him know what we think about the story. We need to use it to help us figure out our next steps as a band. You're a part of Starset, remember? And we need you to step it up with us, bud.'

Gritting his teeth, he had only nodded silently, earning a defeated sigh from the heavily scruffy man before him, who promptly turned heel and headed out to the back to finish loading up. That was his go-to tactic to avoid an argument, and at the time, it suited Brock just fine. But now, sitting back in the van he dropped his hands and once again looked back down at the book with his own flaring aggravation and more than a little shame burning crimson across his cheeks. Barely noticing, he gently picked up the novel between his thumb and forefinger and straightened it between both hands. The letters on the cover danced and jigged; their misbehavior coupled with stress was making him feel more than a little nauseous and he swallowed hard. He didn't want to hurt anyone, or hold up the progress of the band any more than he wanted to constantly piss off his best friend. Why the fuck did this have to be so hard?

'Ah ha! Found you!', Adam shouted, and Brock violently jerked upward, sending the book flying across the seats to land on the far end of the bench. Picking up the novel he gave his friend a small chuckle and nodded apologetically, 'Sorry to scare the shit out of you bud. It's just I was worried about you! You took off awfully fast and disappeared...it's not like you. How come you didn't tell me you snuck off to finally give the novel a go?'

'But...it's not...I...', Brock's cheeks were now flame red and he could feel the panic start to rise in his chest. He tried to jump, wanting desperately to bolt, get out, get away. But forgetting how tall he was as his flight instinct pulled him upward off the floor, he hit his head with a muffled crack on the van's ceiling, sending him sprawling, flailing and sputtering into reverse. 

'SHIT!' Adam swiftly lunged in and dove over to his friend, steadying him and helping get him get sat back on the floor. The look of utter terror in the downed man's eyes immediately put his friend on high alert. He crouched low and looked inquisitively at Brock, seeking permission to be close to him, not wanting to make what he was going through any worse. His friend, shaking a little, nodded slightly, and Adam immediately enveloped him in a bear hug, his familiar scent and warmth breaking something inside of Brock. He dissolved into him, a few silent, shameful tears tracing their way down his cheeks as he bit back a sob, not wanting to break down like this, feeling like such a failure. But Adam paid no attention and just held him more tightly, letting the tears soak his shirt as he shook uncontrollably with the anxiety attack that mercilessly thrashed him.

'Hey, hey there. Shhh. Hey, it's okay, buddy. It's okay. I'm not mad about earlier, I promise. I'm sorry I startled you. I didn't mean to. I just wondered what you were up to. I don't mean to be a pain in the ass about the book either, I just...'

'I CAN'T DO IT!', Brock nearly screamed, a sound which bubbled out over his sobs and shook Adam to his very core. It was a deep, tortured sound, like a sliver of glass dug out of a painfully deep wound, and he coughed hard, nearly gagging himself in the process. His friend thumped him gently on the back a couple of times as he continued to draw in a few more big, whooping breaths, his sobs beginning to taper into little more than heavy breathing and the occasional hitch. That was good; He was coming down from the attack, and Adam breathed a sigh of grateful relief. Sitting for several long minutes, both friends clung to each other as they settled back into normal breathing rhythms again. And ever so slowly Brock began to pull back, his red rimmed eyes trained carefully downward as he spoke. 

'P...please, don't...just...please don't be angry with me? P-p-please. I j-just...I can't. I can't r-read it. I just c-can't.'

'It's okay.', Adam nodded gently, 'look at me, brother.'

Slowly, painfully Brock lifted his eyes up to look at his best friend, and was taken aback by how kind and gentle he looked. He wasn't used to this side of Adam, and felt a little flush with embarrassment at how he'd reacted before. He knew better than to think he'd be angry with him after what had just happened, but he flinched back a little nonetheless when Adam reached over and carefully wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.  
'I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not Celeste. I would never lay a hand on you to try to get you to stop. I know you can't help it. Anxiety is a real bitch.'

'Y-yeah.', Brock sniffled a bit, curling his arms around his knees as he looked over at his friend. They sat together in silence for the longest time, each nudging the other from time to time to try to get closer, needing the warmth of each other as the van interior grew chillier as the sun went down. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the younger, scruffier man breathed out a heavy sigh and tossed an arm across His friend's shoulders, gently shaking his head.

'Hey Brock...are you dyslexic?'

Shaking his head slightly, he stared down at his hands, then began to gnaw restlessly on an already ragged thumbnail, causing it to bleed a little. When he noticed he winced, then stopped and let his hand fall unceremoniously into his lap. His lip trembled a bit but he responded in kind, a sound so soft it was almost inaudible.

'Yes.'

Turning in on himself, the younger man brought his knees up to his chest and grappled to keep himself from losing it all again. Eyes shut tightly, he tried to imagine himself anywhere but there, when he felt the warmth return, this time snuggled up against his side. A smooth, soothing voice floated up from beside him, gently lilting around each word.

'Chapter one. It was the incessant pounding of the door that finally woke him...'

Not daring to open his eyes, Brock settled down into his best friends sidelong embrace, listening as he brought their story to life, just for him. He hadn't said anything, or made any judgements. He just accepted it, and accepted him, making him feel more safe and cared for than anyone ever had before. He felt himself start to drift, finally free. He knew his secret was safe.


End file.
